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  • Writer's pictureAishwarya T Varun

Connecting with Self & Others

Connection blossoms when we support someone in their Highest Interests. For adults, it can be Food, Communities, Career, Family and Friends, Personal Wellbeing, Community Wellbeing, Contribution to Society and so on... For children, it can be Food, Play, Nature, Travelling, Art, Animals, Stories and so on... How do we get to understand a person's interests in the first place? To Understand, one needs to Connect. To Connect, one needs to Listen! Listening is the basic and foremost quality that can help us in nurturing a beautiful relationship with one another. It is quite important to listen to our child(ren). Yes! But, is that all? Not at all! It begins with listening to oneself, so we can listen to our child(ren). It sets a strong foundation for the child to listen to themselves first and then others. Honestly, Children are true and deep listeners. But with adult intervention and conditioning, they slowly forget their authentic selves. I beleive, one of the important works of adults can be to help preserve children's purity and authenticity through less intervention and a lot of inner work on adults themselves. The more we practice to listen to ourselves, it affirms their beingness and their authenticity is preserved. The beauty is children are already present, only we adults need practice. Adults are in the realm of KNOWINGS & BECOMINGS whereas Children are in the realm of BEINGS. As adults, let us help children to remain as themselves - HUMAN BEINGS! So how can we help children to be more listening to themselves (read helping them to preserve their naturality) and understand oneself? By letting the child to express themselves fully through their feelings. We can ask them "How does it feel to you?" to help them connect to their feelings and expressions. Also, we can practice by expressing our feelings to them, so they understand how to articulate their feelings. One of the beautiful ways of listening is to listen to the body. Our body is the best tool to understand ourselves. Whenever we feel happy, joyful, healthy, fulfilled - the body experiences ease, lightness in different parts of the body. Similarly, when there is sorrow, hurt, guilt, shame - the body experiences pain, stuckness, tightness, blockages in different parts of the body. So while we experience different feelings, we can listen to our body and see how it feels where. We can ask the child where is it paining or hurting when he/she is crying or feeling scared or looks worried. The following probing questions can help them to inquire within, stay connected with and understand themselves, instead of looking out for answers. 🌸How does it feel? (At times when they look sad, scared, crying, hurt or even at times when they are joyous) 🌸What do you think? (Whenever they are seeking for answers, clarifications) This inquiry can help the child to stay responsible and also feel heard and seen. It also greatly helps to develop self-confidence and clarity. Children would develop a strong belief that their existence is unique in this world!

By listening to our body, we can listen to ourselves better. This gives connection and eventually we understand ourselves. When we understand ourselves, we have enough space to understand others. So we can co-exist and co-evolve. The entire world feels safe. Just by practicing Listening, we can contribute tremendously to the Wellbeing of Humanity. Let us listen to ourselves and understand each other to create a space for co-existence!

(For more reminders on Relationships, Parenting, Living, Consciousness, you can follow me on Insta @aishwaryatvarun)

Love & Gratitude, Aishwarya 🙏


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shobhana srinivas
shobhana srinivas

So beautifully written Aishu.

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